WE NEED TO TALK—yeah, we need to talk! We need to have that discussion about why you are ruining your life for free, why you’re not making your life seem like an important thing to you.
I want to ask you something: don’t you have something better to do with your time? Don’t you think you could actually pour the time you’re using to serve others—the time you’re using to please others—into something that would give you returns in your own life? Why do you feel the need to avoid offending people the way you do? This is me literally talking to my own self, my own younger self. This is me giving advice—even an ad, to be honest. I’m not a therapist, but I have a lot of things I can say that can actually help you and save you from wasting years of your life. You don’t want to be that person, all in the name of wanting to be kind.
If you'd love a more DETAILED form of this topic, I have a full 20 minute+ video on it over on YouTube, so you can click below to take you there:
The Hard Truths
There are a few hard truths you need to swallow:
1. You Can’t Please Everyone:
You can’t satisfy everyone, and that is fine. You are going to bruise a lot of people’s egos; you’re going to hurt a lot of people’s pride. As humans, we hate rejection in any form—we hate to be rejected, and we hate to reject people. Rejection is part of life; it’s a necessary process that everyone must go through because it refines us. Life is not a bed of roses, and it is in these moments that we actually grow. Come to terms with the fact that I cannot please everybody. I cannot satisfy everybody, no matter how much I try or how subservient I am. Even Jesus Christ, the most perfect person on earth, could not please everybody. When He came, giving life to the people He created, some saw it as something so out of the book—so negative—that He was castigated and ultimately crucified in the most horrible way imaginable. So why am I, a mere man, thinking I can please everyone?
2. You Don’t Love Yourself Enough:
I’m saying this with all kindness, all pleasantries, and with respect: you do not love yourself enough. That’s why you say yes to everything. If you saw your life as valuable, if you saw yourself as a masterpiece, you wouldn’t be saying yes to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. You wouldn’t be giving out your time and energy indiscriminately. Your energy should be channeled toward things that bring returns—into people and activities that bless you in return. Saying yes to everything actually proves that you don’t value yourself enough to ask, “Does this truly help me? Does it align with my goals? Is it something I really want to do?” Don’t keep being a pushover where everyone can just throw their opinions at you, like “Oh, do this for me, do that for me.” You have a choice—a willpower that you can wield. These are hard pills to swallow, but feel bad—yes, feel it—because that feeling will help you understand.
Why You Should Say No
The most important reason why you should say no is that your time is invaluable. I cannot stress this enough: no amount of money can buy time. If money could buy time, trust me, I would have bought 10 years of my life back because there were moments when I was truly wasting time—wasting away my life. Time is God’s gift to man; it is the one thing that, once gone, you can never get back. It’s the most important gift we’ve been given.
That is why you can’t be wasting your time on other people’s purposes. You cannot spend your precious time trying to help someone else fulfill their purpose when your own life is lacking fulfillment. I want you to see your time as premium. I mentioned in my time management video that time is your premium—it’s something you give, and once given, you can’t get it back. So say no to things that aren’t adding value to your life, and start pouring that time into things that will truly benefit you.
How to Say No
Now, let’s talk about how to say no:
1. Embrace the Discomfort:
Whenever I say no, I feel a sting of displeasure—like, “Oh, I just made that person feel sad.” But you have to cut away the stigma associated with saying no. Embrace it as a part of yourself. Say no because your time is precious, and you cannot afford to waste it. Get ready to turn your back on things that do not benefit you.
2. Learn to Reject and to Be Rejected:
Understand that being rejected does not undermine your capabilities. It doesn’t mean you’re not worthy. It just means that maybe you’re not the right person or not the right fit at this moment—and that’s fine. Rejection is part of life. Stop taking every rejection so personally. If you keep taking it personally, you’ll never grow.
3. Explain When Necessary, Withdraw When it’s Not:
Sometimes, you should explain why you’re saying no. For instance, “I can’t do this because I have plans for the weekend.” This helps the other person understand that you’re not saying no because they’re not worthy—it’s just that your time is at a premium. But remember, not everyone deserves an explanation. If someone doesn’t get it, don’t push them. Just withdraw.
4. Stop Overthinking Your No:
Honestly, most people won’t care if you say no. Trust me, in the next minute, I really don’t care about the reason someone said no to me—I’ve moved on. So stop overthinking things. Don’t stress over what other people think about your no.
5. Separate What Benefits You from What Steals Your Time:
Identify what truly adds value to your life and what just steals your time. Say yes to things that are purpose-driven—like your assignments, your studies, your work. Say no to time wasters like unnecessary partying or conversations that drain you. You cannot be building someone else’s house when your own is collapsing.
6. Stop Pressuring Yourself:
Finally, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You’re not Jesus, not the Prince of Peace, and not the one the whole world is relying on. Nobody’s pressuring you—only you are pressuring yourself. Focus on what’s important, and remember that God gave you the willpower to choose. Grab your life and be in charge.
So…I want you to take hold of the things that resonate with you in this message. Discard what doesn’t serve you, but hold tight to the truths that can change your life. Have this at the back of your mind: I am born to be fruitful and to multiply. It’s God’s plan for me—and for you—to be fruitful, to multiply, and to live a life that isn’t about pleasing everyone but about fulfilling your own purpose.
In my community, we’ve grown to over 160 amazing members in just the past week, and I’m excited to keep growing together with you. You can click HERE to join.
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Remember: Your time is a premium gift, and once it’s gone, you can never get it back. It’s time to stop ruining your life for free. I love you, and I believe in you. See you next week on Saturday at 12:00 p.m.!
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